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[on the radio]
Ops, this is Chris, we got the Adelphi booked - you got a weekend free?
Er, sure Chris, where do you want me to put all these guests?
Oh Just stick 'em in the bar with a tab for now - they can't drink THAT much in ten minutes!
Well, I can see the rest of the committee from here, Chris - looks like we got us a Convention!

We were off to the bar in search of a jar when the meeting started to form
Whingeing about how no bid came out and what's gonna happen now?
So we started to compare what we could do there, and we saw someone needed to say
"Good buddies, we need us an Eastercon, and I'm about to put a bid into play!"

('cause we got a little ole Eastercon rockin' thru the night)
(Yeah, we got a little ole Eastercon, ain't she a beautiful sight?)
(Come on and join our Eastercon, ain't nothin' gonna get in our way)
(We're going back to the Adelphi - party our cares away)
(Convoy)

[On the radio]
Ah, breaker, Treasurer, this here's the Duck. I need to draw funds for some stuff
You want two thousand pounds for what?
But if we don't, Thog says he's going to eat the bar... Or something!
Yeah well, just get him a packet of peanuts - no one can eat a whole Volkswagen!

By the time we got into old L-Town we had a programme and guests and all
With beer that we knew wouldn't make you feel queer and plenty of room in the hall
The dealers had circled their wagons, knowing that the storms was to come
I said calling all radios, this here's the Duck, and we're about to bring an Eastercon home.

('cause we got a great big Eastercon partying through the night)
(Yeah, we got a great big Eastercon - ain't she a beautiful sight?)
(Come on and join our Eastercon - ain't nothin' gonna get in our way)
(We're back at the Adelphi - partying our cares away)
(Convoy)

[On the radio again]
Mercy sakes Chris, get yourself to bed - you've been up for eight days straight!
Negatory on that Ops, I've got to get these pink elephants back into secure stores before the biscuit people take it as a sign to invade!

Well we rolled to reception like a fannish Hell on wheels
Got the important things - a key and a card and make a break for the bar
All the usual suspects had gathered therein and drink was being taken
There were dodgy-looking t-shirts wall to wall, and cocktails being shaken
There were freaks and geeks and people in sheets, stuffed toys of every size
Yeah, the whole hotel was full of fans, and inflatables filled the skies
Well we shot the line, we went for broke with a load of loony fans
And we even got old Dave Langford to drive the pizza van!

[On the wireless once more]
Ah, Rubber Duck to Green Room, come over. Yeah, 10-4, You got anything that looks like a sober guest in there? Only I can't do a panel on Battlestar Galactica when I don't even own a TV!

Now people were enjoying themselves for the whole damn stinkin' time
Everyone kicking back and having fun, with no-one crossin' the line
I said "Ops Room, this here's the Rubber Duck - this party's starting to take a toll
Let's just head down to the bar, join in and baby let the good times roll!"

('cause we got a great big Eastercon partying through the night)
(Yeah, we got a great big Eastercon - ain't she a beautiful sight?)
(Come on and join our Eastercon - ain't nothin' gonna get in our way)
(We're back at the Adelphi - partying our cares away)
(Convoy)

Convoy! Ah, 10-4, Tim, what's your twenty?

Convoy! It's broken down again? Well, see if you can get Roger to buy you a new fuse!

Convoy! Mercy sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your...

Convoy! tail. We'll catch you on the flip-flop. This here's the Rubber Duck on the side.

Convoy! We gone. 'Bye,'bye.